“If you don’t know where you are going, you’ll most likely wind up somewhere else.”

Feel free to add your own wise-ass advice.

I think it was Yogi Bera who said, “If you come to a fork in the road, take it.” We could go on forever with his remarks.

From two of the people I admire most, my dad and mom:

“Nothing ventured, nothing gained” (thanks dad:)
“If wishes were horses, beggars would ride” (you too mom:) – happy birthday to my mom and mother in law today, July 30th!

What you are looking for is always in the last place you look.

Never try to teach a pig to sing.
It annoys the pig and wastes
your time.

“Get busy livin or get busy dying” – Andy Dufresne (Shawshank Redemption)

“The problem with reality is that there’s no background music…”

“The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.”

“Everyone needs believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.”

As I do unto others, I do unto myself. (revised Golden rule)

A few good ones from my collection over the years:

“Far better is it to dare mighty things and win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank among those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory or defeat.”

-Theodore Roosevelt

“When one door closes, another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we don’t see the ones which open for us.”

-Alexander Graham Bell

“Knowledge often masters those who cannot master it”

-The Clever librarian

“You grow up listening. You get older and you’ve heard everything. Do not forget how to listen.”

“Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare.”

-Chinese Proverb

“If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will avoid a hundred days of sorrow.”

-Tibetan proverb

“Ignorance is bliss for the self but a plague onto others.”

-Library cubicle

Whenever God Closes One Door He Always Opens Another, Even Though Sometimes It’s Hell in the Hallway.

The problems we face will not be solved by those who created them

Einstein

Politicians are like diapers, they need to be changed for the same reason

????

Mathew…

If PRO is the opposite of CON… what is the opposite of Progress?

Always be sure to take someone who is slower with you, when walking through bear country
I just made that one up

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”

- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

Just because they really are out to get you doesn’t mean you aren’t paranoid.
Steven Brust

Even a paranoid can have enemies.
Henry A. Kissinger

I’ve learned the two words that open all doors…

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Push & Pull

“Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.”

Sometimes taking a detour on the road to destiny is your destiny. I have taken a number of detours.

To avoid criticism is to do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
Elbert Hubbard
US author (1856 – 1915)

Oh good, I finally have something to look forward to after i die ;-)

My oldest daughter’s kindergarten teacher gave them an assignment, a poster with words of wisdom on it. My daughter wrote, Do not go close to grey cows, they are mean and will chase you. This teacher also gave my youngest daughters class an assignment,’ I wish’. She put, ‘I wish my daddy wouldnt hit me.’ This was hung on the door during open house. I swear, he spanked her one time for eating her sisters candy and that is all.

Out of the mouths of babes

Linda,

So your youngest is a little head strong, maybe a little stubburn, and likes to have things here way, oh and knows how to express her self? It sounds like we’ve got a great inventor coming up the ranks.

you can lead a hourse to water, but you can’t make it drink…

“When I was younger I prayed to god for a new car. But my Mom said it doesn’t work that way…so I stole a car and prayed for forgiveness”

Or, Randy, said another way, “It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.”

No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

If it ain’t fun, why bother? Because you can, and the smile will follow.

Just Me.

A doughnut without a hole is a danish. : ) Chevy Chase

In business the phase “WE” need to get this done means “YOU”.

“In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock”

Thomas Jefferson

“You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.”

-Robin Williams

Randy, not to answer for Mathew, but the antonym or opposite of Progress would be CONgress but then again, I regress.

“Man who go to bed with itchy butt, wake with stinky fingers.”

-Confucius

When I married Mister Right I didn’tnow his first name was Always..:))

Jeff…

I’m not gonna touch that one… not even with rubber gloves and hand sanitizer!

:-0

Taller the fence – better the neighbor

Penny – I like it!
here is from me: Smile, and fun will follow!:)

“You’re not really late until you show up.”

IINA WINS WITH 3 TRUES!

Cowgirl8 – Linda –
Remind me never to go walking with you! :) That was a funny one!

“A home is not a mere transient shelter; its essence lies in the personalities of the people who live in it.”

- Henry Louis Mencken

Don’t live to work, work to live.

-Unknown Author

I got this one from my Grandma Dora Celia Shade, born in Pocahontas, Arkansas….

Beauty is only skin deep,
Ugliness is to the bone.
Beauty fades away,
But uglieness holds its own.

1. I am fat, you’re ugly… I can lose weight.

2. The light at the end of the tunnel just might be a train!

3. Whenever my ship comes in, I am always at the airport.

4. A man who farts in church sits in his own pew.

Colonel! Get your fanny over to the Inventor’s Lounge!

“When a man is willing and eager,
the gods join in.”
- Aeschylus

“The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.”

- George Bernard Shaw

I should follow these words of wisdom:
A watched pot never boils….

“A watched dashboard never changes…”

How about “No news is good news”

Money doesn’t buy happiness, but it makes unhappiness more bearable.