Last week, my 3.5yr old son joined my wife at her OB/GYN appointment. While sitting in the crowded waiting room, he asks my wife LOUDLY “is the doctor going to fix all these moms’ crotches?” Wish I was there to share in my wife’s embarrassment! :-)

Tayvin was here last night :))))) i have Saloon Doors on my bathroom

He puts his fingers in his jammy pant bottom like a pair of 6 shooters…
pulls out his hands and swings open the doors… then points his fingers like pistola’s !!! ans shouts

ANYBODY IN HERE GOT MILK !!!!

i thought i was going to die !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAR !!!!!!!!!!!!

LOL… that’s cute, Kat, coming from a 10 year old!
I’ve known plenty of adults who think the SAME way! LOL

Sorry I missed your post the other day, but I didn’t get any
email from you… or if I did I cannot find it. My email’s been
acting up here lately.

I’ve been taking my toddler with his new training inline skates to the our local roller rink. It’s run by a married couple and their two boys, one 10, the other 12. Friday night, the ten year old came up to me and said, “You know what the problem with customer service is, Kat?” I replied, “What?” He promptly stated, “I have to be nice to everyone!”

I thought that was so cute and funny. He said he doesn’t like being nice to those who cut him off on the rink.

Cheers!

Well just this morning Tayvin was sitting on the arm of my couch AGAIN !!! i must have told him 05830485 times not to sit on it as he would break it down….

So i asked him… do you have a good memory….??

Sherri… that was soooooooooooooo funny and then i saw Franks B day cake for Toni….. Made me LOL AGAIN :)))

Ok lets see BIG BOX … 2ft wide 3ft tall… hummmmmm tic tic tic…. from Betsy eh??? tic ti c tic…

i’ll guess it is aaaaaaaaaaaaaa Stuffed Chicken… with a box of eggies… or a EGGIE CAKE … YEAH thats it a EGGIE CAKE !!!!!

can’t wait to hear what it is…………. very exciting Toni… what time were you born… so you can open it ? :))))

Kevin, I forgot, I asked Betsy if it was a jumbo Eggie and she said Nooooooooo!!! Keep guessing.

Thank you Sherri, will call you later around 6am. hahaha Just Kidding. 7am.

HAVE A SUPER GREAT BIRTHDAY AND THANKSGIVING TOMORROW, TONI!!!! XOXOXO

A big Eggies display she pil;fered from a retailer…with Eggies in it (that of course she DID NOT pilfer).

Or a great big b-day card (with Eggies in it…autographed ones!)

Toni enjoy your Bird-day…I’ve a feeling it may be a fairly prosperous year for you!

Betsy, I received this huge box today from the Post Office. It was at least 3feet tall and two feet wide. Can’t imagine what it is.
Betsy asked me to be very careful not to use a knife when opening the package; just peel back the tape. What the heck did Betsy
get me. I asked if it were birthday balloons, she said no. I asked if it was inflatable? She said no.
Can anyone guess what Betsy sent me for my birthday? I will take a picture of it and upload it for all to see.
No matter what it is Betsy, you have made this my most special birthday. xoxo

SOooooo Cute Sherri! And Little ‘T’, I love the Avatar pic from Inventor’s Digest! How coo! Hey, a couple more hours until your b-day! Whoo-Hoo! :-)

Hey Sherri, your brother and sister and you are just adorable.

HOPE EVERYONE HAS A WONDERFUL AND SAFE THANKSGIVING!!!

Every Thanksgiving, I remember something my youngest sister said when she was a toddler and it still makes me laugh to this day…thought I’d share here:

Our family had just said the Thanksgiving Prayer and Mom had fixed her plate all up and gave it to her. She slid it right back towards my mother and said while pointing to the stuffing, “I don’t really like that….can you just stick it back in the hole?”

i wish we could just round em all up and listen in on them as they mingled… wouldn’t that be a hoot !!!

Last night i was at my sons and Tayvin was there for his weekend…. i was tucking him in bed and i leaned over and whispered in his ear….
I think i’m getting old….
He says… that’s Ok NannyGoat… Abraham Lincoln was in his 50’s when he was president… so you just get more famous and more love.

ahhhhhhh i love him so much !!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)))))))))))))

Beth,
I don’t think it’s your parents fault…I think we were all tricked many, many years ago. I have my suspicions.
For instance, in Montana if you were to ask a Child;
what color is an apple? Green
what color is an orange? Green
what color is a banana? Green
what color is a tomato?..see what I’m thinking?

Jane,
my Dad’s Uncle Al was a very clever man. When my Aunt was trying to come up with a name for her puppy,
my Grandmother suggested that she think of something like Al would…the dog was named Alwood. ;-)

Greg,
Here’s one your Son probably wont find in the book, as it is an original by my Son and I some years ago;
knok-knock…who’s there…Winnie Thup…Winnie Thup who? To which we would reply; Oh bother!

Toni, it takes one to know one :)

Beth, I can hear your parents now: What on Earth did we create?

LOL @ Colonel!!! That reminded me of a story my parents once told me about myself… I was learning about colors and my parents were holding up the cards and I was saying green circle… red square…. blue triangle etc. when all at once I stopped…. and asked my parents… how do we know that color is green? You taught me it was green but what if what I really see is blue? But you taught me to say it was green??? I wanted them to describe the color green to me to make sure we were all seeing the same color and were just not taught to say it was that color.. …..I think I just hurt my brain LOL : )

Hi Colonel, you were a smarty pants even at 4. lol lol

If it is okay, I’ll tell a story from when I was a 4yr old boy (a very long time ago). I don’t remember this, but apparently it was a fond memory for my Dad.

I was with my Dad at my kindergarten testing.
We got to questions about color and they went something like this:
What color is an apple? red
What color is an orange? orange
What color is a banana? I don’t know
And the testing continued for there

When we got to the car, my Dad asked me why I didn’t tell him the color of the banana. I knew the color, but my response was, If he didn’t know, I wasn’t going to tell him.

Lucky one, Michael… my family decided early I wasn’t funny; since I explored humor by re-arranging jokes I’d hear and experimenting with the words and asking: isn’t it funnier if the ape is purple, etc.? and of course they never were.

Jane… Completely reminds me, bought my son a Knock-Knock joke book last Christmas. It has the jokes alphabetical, the first one is:
A1
Knock-Knock… Who’s there… A1… A1 who… A1 to know

Beyond trying to explain that it’s steak sauce… We never did quite figure it out, but decided it was funny in that certain awkward way if we randomly tell it and groan afterward. So far best guess is it should say “That’s what A1 to know” = “That’s what I want to know”

I know that feeling, Michael. so funny.

I have another grocery store-related chuckle. We were walking along the end of the aisles, glancing down looking for coffee or something. My son was randomly reading labels on a few items as we went by. We got to the condiments, mustard, ketchup, olives and stuff. Near the end of the aisle was the A1 sauce. He said…“huh. AL sauce. AL sauce? Wonder what AL sauce is for.”

When I was but a lad, our Family was watching “What’s my line”. The caption for the occupation said; “Cured Hams”. Not having a clue what that meant and thinking that the show was using loose terminology, I asked; do they mean a Psychiatrist?
It is not often in life that ignorance can be passed off as cleverness. I never forgot this because even though everybody thought they were laughing with me…I knew better…

LOVE IT!!!
I remember when my eldest was about three I would get so tickled when she would try and explain something… she had a pretty large vocabulary for a young child but would sometimes get her words a bit mixed up…… we were in line at the drug store and… we had just been at the dentist and had gotten her teeth cleaned…… I work at a dental office and the dental term for a cleaning is prophylaxis, which she knew…. and proceded to tell the cashier when we were checking out, she had just gotten her prophylactic and smiled real big!!! I just smiled too…. and left the cashier with a very confused look on her face> : )

I love all the stories here. Kids are the best!

Last Christmas my three boys were the 3 Wisemen in a play. All three were mic’d and wearing the long robes.
My 9yr old, Nathan, went up the stairs and onto the stage just fine. After a very long pause… you here my 5yr old Jon over the speakers. “Go David! Go!” David, my 7yr old, replies, “I can’t, I’m stepping on my DRESS!”

So much fun, everyone!

Here’s one between my wife and five year old Tuesday night:

Son: Sleep well so you have energy tomorrow.
Wife: That’s good advice.
Son: Use it wisely.

OMG… i cant quit LOL… these kids are our future… love them !!! vacuuming with my straw …OHHHHH :))))) and Jane… to get fired when you are in a fire…… OK… !!!!!!!!!! gotta love it !!!!!!!!!!!

Tonight i was watching insider… and this little girl was on for a spelling bee… not knowing that her daddy from iraq was behind the curtain… they asked her to spell SGT… and if she knew anyone that was a SGT… she said … MY DADDY… just then he came out from behind the curtain…she said…with her eyes full of tears….

No wonder my teacher picked me…. and i didnt even have my hand up…..

how precious !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh yeah… And last week I had told her she’d had enough to drink. Her response: “Actually, Mommy, I’m not drinking. I’m vacuuming with my straw.”

My 3-year-old informed me the other day that if there is a fire alarm at work, i have to go outside or I’ll get FIRED!!! Lol

I was getting impatient the other day, waiting for my son to finish all the things he wanted to do before we could go to the grocery store and get that chore done. I told him I was already fried and we hadn’t even left for the store!
Smiling, he said, “You can’t be fried. I haven’t breaded you yet.”
I was no longer fried.

Thanks Marvin… !! i just love children for the wealth of knowledge that we as adults seem to forget with time… :)))

On that note… another precious moment from Tayvin :)

Since he was a baby i always told him…. We come from heaven and we go to heaven… Then i would ask him … Did you come from heaven? and he would reply … YUP …. every time he would say … YUP…

One day i had his mom on the phone and i asked her… (Tayvin was on the other line:) Does Tayvin ever tell you he came from heaven??? His mom said NO he never has told me that… I told her… well i tell him we come from heaven and we go to heaven then i ask him if he comes from heaven and he always says…. YUP

Then i tell her… Listen… Tayvin did you come from heaven? he YELLS NOOOOOOOO !!!
i said well then… where did you come from?
He stops for quite a period to think…. then he blurts out….. THE STORE !!!!!!!!!!

i said to his mom… he just had to make a liar out of me and LOL…

Then i felt like asking …. (but refrained)… which one? WalMart or Kids R Us ???????? HAAAHAHAAAHAAA :)))))))))))

Fairin! Funniest Tread of ALL TIME :)

KIDS !!!! love em …. they are so special !!! so funny and we can learn from them… how wonderful is that ??? !!! LOVE these stories !!! LOL lol lol :))))))))))))))

Betsy and Richard…I am laughing at your posts…kids are the best, endless laughter…I love “Iearned we need a condo!” Funny….

When my son was ten and in the fifth grade he came home from school after having his first sex education class. After school, I nervously asked him, ‘what did ya learn?’

He looked at me and said ‘I learned we need a Condo’.

I have a Granddaughter just now getting it figured out about potty training. She sits down, raises her eyebrows,cocks her head to one side and says, listen, listen, do you hear that, wanna see? Have another Granddaughter that looked sternly at my wife and asked; Grandma, why do you look so old? She just couldn’t help but start laughing.

We are potty training our almost 3 year old and the other day she sat on the little potty, I said “Rowan, got anything this morning?” Rowan’s reply “I got nothin”….LOL

Hi everyone, newbie here. I’ll have a go…My four year old grandson told me one day that he had only three things left to do in his life.(deep sigh) I asked him what they were and he said in this order…“I want to get a girlfriend, get a job and learn to read and write!” I was glad to see he had his priorities in order. Cute thread. :)

I’m yelling from the house…..

TAAAAAAAAAYVIN what are you doing????

WHAT COLORRRRRRRR ????

OK :))))

On one of the rare occasions when my wife and I could get a baby sitter and get out to see a show (I think it may have been Neil Diamond), we explained to our 2 year old daughter that we were going to see a singer and she asked “Does he sing Bingo?”

I rather liked the idea of Neil Diamond standing in front of thousands of people singing “B..I..N…G..O and Bingo was his name-o”

SOOOOOOo funny !!! of all things !!! well she could sell them to the pet store as they need them to feed things YUCK … haaaha :)))

Fairin, I just remembered your thread here as my 8 year-old daughter just threw me a for a little loop and informed me that she wants to breed crickets!! (Yipes..and she’s totally serious because she watched some YouTube videos of other children who raised/bred them in a box)

Love it!! Nice thread Fairin!! : )

OHHHHHHHHH i cant get enough of those little GEMS !!!

MIKE…. your little one just reminded me of what Tayvin said a few years back… he just turned 9 this mo… so i would say he was about 4 when…..

i said… i love you to pieces…. and he said…. i love you to crumbs !!!!!!! my heart melted… :)))

OK, I’ll go with recent memory, tonight my wife’s out with a friend so it’s boy’s night… we got:
“Dad, let’s not any vegetables for dinner but not tell Mom.”

We ate out (shhh.. with no veggies) and while eating took me a minute to realize he was copying everything I did from when I took a bite to wiping my mouth to a sip of the drink… I looked at him, he looked at me, and we both chuckled.

I have poor memory files for specifics like songs and things said and dates, etc. maybe it helps keep my child’s eye view alive by being unencumbered by the actuals.

My daughter, at age 3, said, “Dad, I love you like fire loves sticks.” I was blown away. I’m still blown away. I used to print her quotes out and put them on the refrigerator. She was so proud.

OMG …. i can’t stop LOL LOL LOL !!!!!!!!!!!! Kids are SOOOOOOOOOO wonderful, i think we lose something as we grow up and our brains start to fill with files !!!!!!!!!! :))))))))) All these kids are so smart…

OK now…. 30 years ago mind you … when my son was around 4… He asked me…

Mom when i am big what do you want ME to buy YOU ????

i thought… hummmm opportunity knocking… lets play… SO i started to name EVERYTHING i could think of … from peanut butter to furniture….

He say…. If i got all that there would be nothin left in the store……….. heeeeeeeeeee lol.

Come on Greg think of one !!!!! i can’t wait to hear… !!! :))))))))

A few years back… some friends were over ,hanging out on the front porch… unfortunatly witnessed a stray cat that was hit by a car. : ( My child was about three then. We went to check on the poor cat… upon seeing the cat we confirmed its’ demise and went back to tell the others, I was explaining to the group.. " The poor cat has gone to be with God" and my daughter sat there a moment and then asked….“What does God want with an old dead cat???”

Oliver is the son of some friends. About 2 years ago, Oliver was about 5.

I once told him:

- Oliver you are such a cool kid… God bless you…

- But I didn’t sneeze! replied Oliver.

About five years ago our youngest ran into the kitchen to tell his Mom that our cat was sleeping on the bed, knowing this she replied “still”?
He looked up at her and said “yes Mommy, very still…”

About 11 years ago our oldest boy was at his big Sister’s Birthday party that was taking place at a local pizza parlor. Being shy of all the girls, he was very careful to take the seat next to his Sister. One of the girls sitting across the table, pretty freckles and all, wanted to sit next to my Daughter and asked my Son if he would trade spots with her. After looking at her for a moment, he became very serious and told her “I don’t have spots”!

Thanks Fairin…great memories!

My son comes out with so many, I don’t think I could remember any particular one of them.

But one I do remember was told by a boss of mine fifteen or so years ago. It was right after Toy Story. His son had just got a Buzz Lightyear action figure the week before. They were at the toy store and his son in the loudest kid begging voice asks:
“Daddy can I have a big Woody too?”