3. “The mark of a great man is how he shows he cares.” Isn’t that the mark of the average woman?
4. Winning’s never a given; it’s a taken.
5. Humility is often confused with weakness, pride with strength.
6. Persistence is fertile!
7. Behind every great man is a woman who wonders what all the fuss is about.
8. Cash is the sincerest form of flattery.
9. If it sounds too good to be true, you’re right!
10. Shared values are essential to shared views.
12. A beauty of aging together is, the most beautiful views are ageless.
13. Young men do, while wise men argue.
14. An idea is magic. It grabs hold and beckons, “Come follow me into madness.”
15. Intelligence is only useful when its use is compelled.
16. Control’s an illusion, just like lack of it.
17. Evil is the triumph of torment and power over hope.
18. Power is never held by holding.
19. The creative are often confused with the crazy.
20. If you think with your gut, digest with your brain.
21. Life’s an oyster and we’re just a bunch of shuckers.
22. Truth neither holds nor denies allegiance.
23. Offence doesn’t get very far without being taken.
24. Many confuse the ability to learn with the ability to reason.
25. Truth: people unwilling to tell it or accept it are often offended by it.
26. If it didn’t pay to be honest, who would support the dishonest.
27. The trick to relationships is meeting the standards of someone meeting mine.
28. Loyalty is the spore of corruption, which like mold, grows hidden from view.
29. An idea comes from nothing and, not put into action, remains nothing.
30. Freedom is the cradle of accomplishment.
31. Great accomplishments arise when limits, responsibilities and attachments are shed.
32. Change is where talent met opportunity.
33. Love! Never has so much been said by so many for so few.
34. Loyalty bridges the gaps of uncertainty in the people we trust.
35. Actions must be judged by selfish intent, execution and consequence.
36. Freedom of action does not guarantee freedom from consequence.
37. It ain’t the truth ‘til someone gets hurt.
38. Conscience will turn to help with the same hand that just pushed you down.
39. A “pert” is a humble person who doesn’t overbear with opinions or credentials. That explains all the ex-perts!
40. Most people never let facts get in the way of their opinions.
41. People misinterpret what I say. That makes us even.
42. Put your finger in the dyke and keep pluggin away.
43. To fully appreciate what is, one must at times consider what isn’t.
44. When you’ve loved and lost, never consider any of it a loss.
45. A Palin-drone is just as annoying in reverse.
46. Gauge every disaster by whether it’ll really matter in 5 yrs, then check back in 5 yrs.
47. The path to glory is lined with headstones; the trick is to stay on the path.
48. When wealth is used to acquire power, capitalism and democracy can no longer co-exist.
49. TV’s proven what’s learned in the 5th grade, stays in the 5th grade.
50. Creation is the storehouse of time’s endeavors.
51. If you blow the first impression, shoot for the lasting impression.
52. Nobody’s perfect, nor should they be.
53. Good grammer is the first indication of intelligence; spelling the 2nd.
54. Democracy cannot endure without the separation of cash and state.
55. Apparently the only beliefs that work are the ones that can’t be questioned.
56. Life depends on selfish acts but quality of life depends on unselfish ones.
57. Time extracts the patterns from chaos.
58. You have to hurdle the first laugh, to get the last laugh.
59. Home is a haven safe from new experiences, discoveries & opportunities. Home is the unluckiest place on the planet.
60. Love my haters cuz baby Jesus told me so.
61. The “Law of Attraction” seems to work fine for the attractive.
62. If we made each moment memorable, we’d spend a lot of time reminiscing.
63. Politics is the delicate balance between being true to oneself and being true to others.
64. At least be sure of yourself because others, quite frankly, won’t be.
65. Prophecy always comes true; if not, it was heeded in time.
66. “The Secrect”: Believe and things work out; if they don’t, you didn’t.
67. You never have to admit you’re wrong if you have the credentials to back it up.
68. Bulltruth! I’m saying it’s bull but you’re hearing it’s truth.
69. If a Republican speaks in the forest and there’s no one around to hear him . . . it’s a start.
70. Republicans conspire against the common good for their own good.
71. Politicians are people of the highest integrity. Most have been bought and paid for and deeply honor their commitments.
72. If I lived as if I’ll die today, I’d have a lot of ‘splainin to do tomorrow.
73. Too bad everything’s a pyramid and not a tower, then there’d be as much room at the top as there is at the bottom.
74. Appeal to their hearts and their minds will follow. Appeal to their minds and fuggedaboudit.
75. The true measure of a genius’ character is how well he can suffer fools.
76. The loveliest views are usually the loneliest.
77. Politics is the dance between loyalty, truth and pandering.
78. The developer gets the book while the discoverer gets but a footnote.
79. Hesitate, procrastinate, stagnate! Words to live by if you live on a couch.
80. A bureaucract believes in the letter of the law, a reasonable man in its intent.
81. Temper truth with courtesy.
82. Truth is hard to find because there’s so much more that isn’t.
83. Richness of personality does not exclude bankruptcy of character.
84. Truth is a poor harvest gleaned from the words of fool or liar.
85. Beware the braggart who begs.
86. If an energetic positive attitude were the key to success, DJ’s would rule the world.
87. Each endeavor, like a painting, requires a particular frame of mind.
88. Thoughts drop in and rattle around like coins in a blind man’s cup.
89. Trust anyone you can keep an eye on.
90. A gift to the self-entitled is their gift to you.
91. Trust is the lazy person’s approach to relationships.
92. You always hit what you focus on avoiding.
93. Timing is everything, that’s why persistence pays . . . eventually.
94. Reality is a bubble that protects us, thankfully, from an even weirder reality.
95. Art is not an exact science, that’s why brushes are fuzzy.
96. Squashing a rumor is like squashing a tomato, it just spreads it further.
97. A picture may be worth a thousand words but a quote’s worth an entire philosophy.
98. Longevity is the ultimate human goal. Just ask Walt Disney’s head.
99. Serendipity’s a place with no walls, a window of opportunity and a door for it to knock on.
100. When opportunity knocks, it’s never a sales call.
101. Everything that’s forced, grates.
102. Quitting often clarifies the solution but, oft times, all too late.
103. A free society is always supported somehow, somewhere by slavery.
104. Capitalists will grind anything into capital.
105. Most ideas expire on the shelf long before they ever get the chance to be stolen.
106. Each stage in life leaves behind an empty cocoon to which there is no return.
107. You can’t squeeze blood from a stone but you can from a head.
108. The difference between parents and children: Children are people preoccupied with the present, parents with the past.
109. Focusing on what’s supposed to happen often blinds one to what is happening.
110. Vanilla pudding never offended a soul. That’s why I don’t really care for vanilla pudding and all that it may or may not stand for.
111. If the grass is always greener on the other side, go by what your neighbor thinks
112. Management always seems to attract type-A holes.
113. Bureaucracy starts out as a means to implement change but ends up as an excuse to stifle it.
114. Devote no time to your enemies and soon you won’t have any. Works for friends too.
115. Memorable moments are the measure of a life well spent.
116. Stating the obvious has a deep impact the shallow.
117. When there’s nothing new under the sun and most ideas never see the light of day, bright ideas need to shine on their own.
118. Successful people have as much fun making money as the rest of us have spending it. There’s your difference.
119. Imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery but money is the sincerest form of encouragement.
120. You’d think all genius would be useful but a lot of it really isn’t; take chess for example.
121. Freedom entails responsibility but it’s way more fun if it didn’t.
122. Persistence against the wind requires frequently changing, not staying, the course.
123. “It’s not the destination, it’s the journey” -quoted from someone on a treadmill.
124. Nobody ever brags about what they’re not going to do.
125. “Know thyself” but get a different perspective.
126. An good idea’s only as clever as the ones hearing it.
127. Persistence without progress is pointless without a change of perspective.
128. A lecturer is informative, a mentor is formative.
129. You can’t hear yourself think when you’re too busy listening to what others think.
130. You don’t stay number one by turning down challenges.
131. Some words of bad advice: give in to your impulses and trust your feelings.
132. Dinosaurs stuck to their values, that’s why we evolved from mammals.
133. Experts are always on the cutting edge of knowledge teetering on the verge of obsolescence.
133a. It’s always the new guy with the new idea that puts the “ex” in expert.
134. May you never be shaken . . . only stirred.
135. A good rep will carry you long after your performance starts faltering.
136. What goes around, comes around but you have to let go of the boomerang first.
137. Experience is like a bundle of sticks. It can either be fuel to light your fire or a burden that weighs you down.
138. Failure shouldn’t force you to quit, but it should at least force you to consider it.
139. Plucking truth and ideas out of the background requires a trained eye and the patience to chisel away the obvious.
140. Every wealthy man has words he lives by. What these quotes may lack in beauty, they make up for in sheer value.
141. Don’t quit! Frustration’s the seed of accomplishment and enjoyment.
142. Complacency’s often the reward of a life spent fighting it.
143. Life’s all about eating sh*t and learning to savor the flavor.
144. An angry word never made a dime.
145. When the wind’s knocked out of your sails, it only SEEMS like the wind will never come up again.
146. Rock bottom’s not a dead end but a U-turn; it’s wherever U-turn it around.
147. It’s much easier to forgive and forget once you get even.
148. Talent and a good story will get you farther than talent alone.
149. Forget your faults, focus on your strengths, then hire an accountant to handle the cashflow.
150. Time is a whirlpool, the closer to the drain, the faster it spins.
151. The conscious mind makes mistakes, the subconscious mind makes them over and over.
152. Talents are discovered exploring new experiences and developed only so long as they remain frustrating.
153. Bank your mistakes. Gain interest and once they mature into experience, cash in.
154. Modern art is the beauty of suggestion through simplicity.
155. To forgive is human, to get even, divine.
156. The elite and the masses share a common view on excellence, it’s on mediocrity where they differ.
157. A life without fear, is a life without challenge. Most prefer the former.
158. When it comes to apologies, haste saves a lot of waste.
159. Apologies are the short cuts to happiness.
160. You need to be gifted to be uplifted.
161. A philanderer is not a philanthropist, unless he’s very, very good.
162. Don’t follow your dreams if they can’t keep up.
163. No man’s a success without a pinch of excess thrown in for good measure.
164. Where a pessimist loses a sock in the dryer, the optimist has found an extra one.
165. A poet has A way with words, a politician has HIS way with words.
166. The support of family and friends goes only so far. Success comes from the support of strangers.
168. You only rise to the level you ask for.
169. Kids recharge through their eyes. They just look at you and you feel drained.
170. Laughter should be the goal of every hymen endeavor.
171. Belief is certainty without reason, knowledge is reason without certainty.
172. Belief stabilizes civilization, knowledge destabilizes it. Belief endures, knowledge renews.
173. Problems are like sand. They’re easy to shift until they turn into the size of dunes.
174. Appreciation’s a gift that’s always returned.
175. I believe only in that I know not.
176. If your values include adapting to the situation, you have the best of both worlds my friend.
177. Growth is the journey from selfishness to selflessness.
178. Pride takes everything personally.
179. A slow learner picks up on the things a fast learner leaves behind.
180. Reget nothing, not even spelling mistakes.
181. Quit everything that does not cause you frustration. Frustration is the seed of enjoyment.
182. Conspiracy needs no more than an uncoordinated loose swarm of like-minded individuals performing like-minded deeds.
183. True sacrifice is love doing something it really hates.
184. Focus emotion into passion.
185. Money is the root of all evil; emotion is the route of all money.
186. For every truth, there is an equal and opposite opinion.
187. The void is filled through love, addiction or connection. Connection being the most durable.
188. Love is missing parts you never even knew were missing.
189. Even if ashes to ashes, dust to dust, it’s still not ok to treat people like dirt
190. Quitter’s just another name for someone who moves on with life.
191. Trust, not security, is the glue that secures the integrity of civilization.
192. Most are derailed when their one-track mind switches into the rest of the railroad.
193. In a horserace between love and obsession, the smart money’s on obsession.
194. Phone calls are usually from people who want something from you. Except those that offer free vacations.
195. Whether god exists or not, the discussion continues on without him.
196. The smartest man in the room is a question of popularity.
197. Jazz sounds like a 3D laser print looks; if you stare long enough, things start to pop out (or so I’m told).
198. Love is never having to bring up that one time in Vegas.
199. The key to the power within is channeling what’s without.
200. Before you take it, remember, advice is never offered with a money back guarantee and operators are never standing by.
201. How far you go is determined by how much skill, stake and stamina you start out with.
202. Great expectations lead to great disappointments.
203. Friendships sail smoother when the expectations are lowered.
204. “Everything happens for a reason”, but not necessarily for a good reason.
205. If a student doesn’t surpass his teacher, then he hasn’t learned a thing.
206. The choice between customer and employer inevitably yields the same result . . . unemployment.
207. A lighter lit once is magic; lit twice it’s technology.
208. My one regret is that I never dared do anything worth regretting.
209. Integrity is the choice between being true to your best interests and being true to yourself.
210. If you think mountains don’t move, try standing in a dust storm.
211. Time is the passage from action to outcome. Destiny is the passage of outcome into action.
212. One moment of brilliance far surpasses a lifetime of consistency.
213. “Build it and they will come” but only if you market the hell out of it.
214. Ironic how the fiercest Creationists become the fiercest Darwinists when it comes to the economy.
215. “You miss 100% of the shots you take” facing the wrong direction. –altered Gretzky
216. For every successful self-help guru, there’re thousands of followers who aren’t.
217. Saplings start out bending with the wind so later they won’t have to.
218. “Success is 1% inspiration, 49% perspiration” and 50% guesstimation.
219. Credibility opens doors only after you’ve kicked in a good number.
220. Good and evil are battles fought in heaven. Here it’s ego.
221. Most of us don’t know what we can do until we’ve seen others do it. That’s why pioneers are gods.
222. Courtesy is more than manners. It’s respect, tolerance, understanding, consideration and empathy all in one word.
223. Do unto others as they’d like to be treated, not how you’d like to be treated.
224. The mind is a beach head. First one there, controls it.
225. The selfless extend their selves though connection to others.
226. Destiny’s the assignment we’re given that leads to self-determination and eventually self-awareness.
227. Inventors are just complainers who use actions instead of words.
228. Growth is the switch from helpless and self-full to helpful and selfless.
229. If everyone exercised their creativity, who would run things?
230. The weak lead by consensus, the strong by conviction.
231. Money can’t buy friends, but it can sure rent them.
232. Pain is soon forgotten but rarely is the cause.
233. The 3 R’s of life: Recognize, Realize and Repeat as necessary.
234. The meaning of life is recognizing then realizing your destiny.
235. Your worst days make for great stories on your best days.
236. Laughter is the noise that often drowns out understanding.
237. Ears can deceive what the eyes behold.
238. Delusion can’t be self-diagnosed. It needs a 2nd opinion.
239. Happiness is feeling important.
240. Happiness is beholding beauty.
241. Success favors the longshot as much as the safe bet, just less often.
242. Ideas implanted with emotion are difficult to uproot with reason.
243. Hitting the target requires focus and confidence in your abilities.
244. Destiny is knowing the outcome without yet knowing the path.
245. Happiness is being endlessly surprised.
246. Perceived genius affirms your opinions but real genius changes them.
247. Even bad advice makes you feel obligated but those who gave it won’t be.
248. Belief in sharing is inversely proportional to the amount of stuff you have.
249. When accusing liars, the bigger the lie, the louder the outcry.
250. Violence prevails when reason fails.
251. Evil prevails when hope fails.
252. Regrets set the wake up calls for second chances and future redemption.
253. Success is matching skill, stake and stamina to the odds.
254. Keep your head in the clouds cuz your ideas will fall on deaf ears anyway.
255. If you want to be taken seriously, leave all joking aside.
256. Anger costs especially if you’re trying to collect.
257. If you want to sell an eyedear, target the eye, not the ear.
258. Destiny’s the road map drawn after the journey’s done.
259. “Those who rarely fail, rarely learn.” Maybe they’re just smarter to begin with.
260. Indifference to privacy is the Achilles heel of freedom.
261. A perfect vacuum’s impossible which confirms nothing IS impossible.
262. Your reach isn’t limited by the length of your arms but by the mobility of your feet. Don’t plant yourself.
263. When pushed to your limits, push ‘em back.
264. Every new idea is laughable until understood
265. “Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic” (until it becomes a toothbrush).
266. You’re right when you start with, “I really shouldn’t be saying this . .” You’re wrong when you start with, "It’s not my intention to .
267. Compared to security, privacy seems unimportant but without it freedom cannot exist.
268. Great minds discuss why, average minds discuss how, small minds discuss who, what, when and where.
269. Unlike money or trust, respect is earned by freely giving it away.
270. Respect is earned by respecting others.
271. When your best interests often coincide with staying true to your core values, you’re a used car salesman.
272. If you keep your friends close but your enemies closer, you’ll soon end up with a whole new bunch of frenemies.
273. What goes around, doesn’t come around, it’s just always around.
274. The great thing about being stuck in a rut is knowing nothing lasts forever.
275. When you compromise your values, they’re no longer values.
276. If assumption is the mother of screw up, compromise is the mother of all regret.
277. The consequences of opinion should be no more dire than disagreement but that’s rarely the case.
278. Can absolute laws still be absolute with exceptions? Depends on the number of exceptions.
279. Business ethics is like making a kid in charge of the cookie jar understand it’s good not to eat all the cookies
280. The consequence of using your freedom irresponsibly is the loss of that freedom.
281. Appeasement never means peace when values are compromised.
282. I love bureaucrats with fava beans and a nice chianti. ffffffffff
283. Innovation’s a threat to the status quo and the quo don’t like to be threatened.
284. There’s a line for thinking outside the box, it’s called the unemployment line.
285. :Success is based on faith, failure on doubt. Ergo faith is foolproof.
286. The margin between success and failure is a lot thinner than successful people would have you believe.
287. The slightest advantage, over time, over whelms.
288. Evil without intent is indistinguishable from bad luck.
289. Naysayers quickly disperse and are soon forgotten when proven wrong.
290. The wise man brings an umbrella while the fool curses the rain (and the man with the umbrella).
291. Seriousness is what separates the brilliant from the absurd.
292. Belief is just ignorance with attitude.
293. One man’s peace is another man’s injustice.
294. The more idiot-proof a system, the more idiots it employs.
295. The more you know, the fewer your opinions. The less you know, the more opinionated others seem.
296. Both genius and madman see things others don’t.
297. Life’s like a roller coaster ride; ups and downs then we all end up where we started.
298. The boasts of social status are viewed as collateral but are never a wise investment.
299. Immortality is a lifetime spent summed up in a few key words of truth.
300. The cause of the most recent problem is usually due to the most recent change.
301. Advice is like a bag of sh!t. Pass and it’s considered rude but accept and you’ll be left alone holding the bag.
302. Everyone has a right to their opinion, except in school.
303. It’s a small step between indifference to what you see and indifference to what you cause.
304. Thinkers discuss why, doers discuss how, gossips discuss who, what, where and when.
305. Experts freely share facts, they only charge for perspective.
306. Darth Vader planted the seeds of his own destruction: Luke and Leia.
307. Weak words of warning inwite wiolence.
308. The cost of what you’re doing is what’s not getting done.
309. It seems the Law of Attraction has somehow gotten around Murphy’s Law.
310. Persistence conquers fear, but like courage, is at times foolhardy.
311. Those who think life’s not fair just need to adjust their definition . . of fairness.
312. In a world filled with beliefs, it’s difficult to make a case for reason.
313. Dreams created are rarely as interesting as dreams crushed.
314. Reason requires rationality; religion, rationalization.
315. Brains, hard work and talent are no match for beauty and the ability to schmooze. ~Randy
316. If everything happens for a reason, every result is satisfactory.
317. Class is a measure of how inoffensively one can state opinions.
318. Most discoveries are found in a place one shouldn’t be in.
319. A circular argument begins with a conclusion stated as fact.
320. Marketing is the triumph of truthiness over truth.
321. Questions are best avoided by a plausible story delivered with authority.
322. Talent and passion wither without validation.
323. A positive attitude is a result of ignoring all the evidence to the contrary.
324. 20/20 hindsight contributes to 20/20 foresight.
325. Passion is pointless if not shared.
326. We remember Marathon not for the message but for the messenger.
327. In religion, the messenger is the message.
328. Decision is a moment of doubt followed by a moment of clarity.
329. Caesar’s words, “I came, I saw, I conquered” are used often but his opponent’s words, “I tried, I failed, I quit” even more so.
330. Unlike money or trust, respect is earned by freely giving it away.
331. Belief ignores exceptions, knowledge builds on them.
332. Those who believe in freedom through security, need to buy a dictionary.
333. You know a society has crossed the threshold of prosperity when children are no longer economically viable.
334. Power is the endless serving of cake that must be eaten to have it too.
335. To be stable, society tends to pull back on the elements that would propel it forward
336. A yes man is someone who recognizes he can ill afford not being one
337. The obvious truth is often superficial.
338. Blessed are the free, just so long as they don’t disobey.
339. A theory can only be proved by those intent on disproving it.
340. Nothing sours a positive outlook like a head on collision with reality.
341. Delusion doesn’t wait for hope to be realized.
342. Predictions based on likely are seldom right.
343. A journey of a thousand miles also ends with one step. . . after a THOUSAND miles.
344. Subtle sarcasm sweetly strides both sides of any argument.
345. If perception is reality then delusion ain’t illusion.
346. Unentangle your mind from where you are and entangle it with where you want to be.
347. Many things are just unknowable, especially with that attitude.
348. Things left in the hands of any mythical deity tend to languish.
349. Sarcasm’s never wrong, yeah right!
350. All hope is false until it coincidentally comes true.
351. Blindly embracing the thoughts of those more capable is an embrace of one’s own incapability.
352. Why experts if not to alleviate the burden of thought.
353. With credentials, one no longer has to depend on reason to win arguments.
354. Failure’s all about timing. It either starts too early, too late, doesn’t finish or keeps running long after the race is over.
355. A chair that is there, isn’t a question of belief. Belief is the question whether the chair that is there, isn’t.
356. The things you believe aren’t real, if they were, they’d be called knowledge.
357. Life is generally long periods of disappointment interrupted by intense streaks of bad luck.
358. Vampire’s skin glowing like diamonds flies in the face of everything we previously knew about vampires.
359. Low expectations lead to tolerance; tolerance-forgiveness; forgiveness-apology; and apology is the shortcut to happiness.
360. If the door doesn’t budge, start kicking in the wall.
361. Bureaucracy is the triumph of process over purpose.
362. To do well, don’t dwell.
363. Balance is both harmony through cooperation or equilibrium through conflict.
364. Encouragement is a house of hallmark cards built on a calm day. The first strong breeze comes along and blows all those well wishes away.
365. It’s not enough to fill a need, you need to create one.
366. Conflict cannot survive without your participation. Your participation cannot survive without conflict. -altered Wayne Dyer
367. Everyone deserves respect whether they deserve it or not.
368. Loyalty is a very noble character flaw.
369. Pride hides disguised, cloaked in any strong emotion.
370. Talent is not owed, it’s a debt, a privilege hard fought to pay forward in dues.
371. The path of least resistance, by definition, has no forks.
372. Infinite power yet the universe, unlike us, always takes the path of least resistance. hmmm
373. The true power of a seed is that it doesn’t contain all the ingredients, it contains the recipe.
374. Unleash the power of the mind; all 12 watts of it.
375. What worth has beauty if not seen. Conversely, what scene has worth if not beauty. –altered Italian proverb
376. Staying true to your friends and best interests is always easier than staying true to yourself.
377. Loneliness is an infectious disease, that’s why we should shun the lonely. Hey, wait a minute . . .
378. Loyalty to the truth requires disloyalty to everything else, especially your beliefs.
379. If you’re confident in your beliefs, disagreement should be expected, accepted and then excepted.
380. Turn your wounds into wisecracks –altered Oprah
381. The greatest love is a feeling of honor returned with the deepest gratitude
382. A good man cares, a great man makes others care.
383. The fastest way to be forgotten is to say what’s expected.
384. Good is not the opposite of evil; hope is.
385. Religious science tries to explain the natural world but, ironically, in supernatural terms.
386. Great words disperse if detached from deeds of daring do.
387. No matter how brilliant, it’s difficult to idolize someone who smells bad.
388. Religion began as a science trying to explain the world around us. Then the facts started trickling in.
389. Nothing clouds issues of right and wrong faster than self interest.
390. Mediocrity is never breaking out of the shell but allowing the shell to encompass everything around you.
391. None are so fond of sharing as those who don’t.
392. Technology demystifies magic; jargon re-mystifies it.
393. Bitterness results from the souring of expectations.
394. There are 3 types of people in the world, those who count and those who don’t. – altered JLMoore
395. The difference between a wise man and an opinionated man is the wise man is asked for his opinions.
396. Don’t know where you’re going, then any road will do but if you know, the same roads will still do.
397. Youth is wasted on the young but not for long.
398. No one wants your talent, that would be too easy.
399. The best way to end bribery is to not return any favor.
400. Sick of the rat race; not the race, just the rats.
401. Usually the ass you see is just the tip of the assberg.
402. Space may cradle existence but time determines its purpose.
403. Time controls and remembers every process that occurs or has ever occurred in the universe.
404. 24 hour news is the opiate and the stimulant of the people.

405. The universe is dual in nature, there are no threesomes.
406. Hope is the dream of a waking man or the waking reality of the delusional man. ~ Altered Aristotle
407. It’s never classy to question the class of others.
408. Accuse first, ask questions later then the answers just fall off the bone.
409. No offense, I really shouldn’t be saying this but with all due respect it’s not my intention to constantly mean the opposite of what I say.
410. I’m sick of living in the moment, I need a little more room than that.
410a. To live in the moment is to embrace chaos without fear.
411. All you need is right in front of you, but you need your mind’s eye to see it.
412. In a cyclical universe, if there’s conservation of energy, there must be conservation of entropy.
412a. Evolution is the conservation of entropy.
413. Philosophy is the art of shooting darts at the dartboard of reason.
414. The Secret confirms superstition is the new science.
415. The more you preach, the more you reach.
416. Maybe I spend too much time reading quotes about success for it to actually happen.
417. Genius often needs to be pointed out.
418. Happiness is the byproduct of tolerance.
419. Life’s a journey, more often an ego-trip.
420. You know it’s wrong if you preface an action with, “I don’t normally do this.”
421. It’s frustrating when a person’s heart’s in the right place but his brain isn’t.
422. It’s all bulltruth. Truth if you believe it, bull if you don’t.
423. A new idea usually rises from old ashes
424. Money is hated by all those who don’t have it.
425. All the positive thinking in the world won’t get your head through the brick wall you didn’t see coming.
426. Unfortunately inspiration has an expiration.
427. Only the stupid don’t know how stupid they really are.
428. Definition of 2nd place: half the reward at twice the effort
429. Patent office bureaucrats are the parking meters on the inventor’s road to success.
430. Belief is the bending of perception not reality unless you believe perception is reality.
431. The placebo effect is a scientific fact ergo belief can bend reality.
432. The one unacceptable scientifically proven fact: if you trust your feelings, they will betray you.
433. Nothing shakes faith in positive attitude like the blindside.
434. Unwritten rule: You can never tweet the same unwritten rule twice.
435. One of the most brilliant quotes I’ve ever heard was “Nuts!”
436. The sword is my pen and I’d say it’s pretty darn mighty. –Zorro
437. The goal of natural selection seems to be the development of exaggerated appendages but, so far, no jackelope.
438. If we’re free to believe what we want, why bother with schools then?
439. There’s no cure for the cliche driven life.
440. I’m not waiting around for my genius to be acknowledged, I’ve decided to acknowledge it myself.
441. We all peak then slowly die. Didn’t religion peak in the dark ages?
442. A wise man in a room full of idiots is never popular.
443. There’s always that uncomfortable silence at the end of every conversation.
444. Math was derived from observation, now observation is derived from math.
445. A great man makes those around him feel great.
446. Nothing starts easy but eventually it becomes easy.
447. Reading has an undue influence over my own thoughts.
448. Time does move backwards, it’s called planning.
449. The bureaucrat is the foulest creature known to man; except for the one in charge of my unemployment check. Naw him too.
450. As if history has not taught us enough about the barbarism of religious values, wait ‘til the first human is replicated.
451. Education’s a great way to camouflage lack of common sense.
452. People don’t wait for answers anymore because most questions, nowadays, are rhetorical.
453. It’s fun to interact so long as everyone agrees, then it gets ugly.
454. I can suffer fools but I can’t suffer pride. Not really, I can’t suffer fools either.
455. It’s not enough to love your beliefs, you gotta live your beliefs.
456. It’s only human nature that one thinks like-minded individuals are geniuses.
457. The measure of a fly is not how many times he’s been knocked down or got up, it’s if he finally made it out the window.
458. What goes around comes around only if things are made to happen for a reason.
459. It doan matter how many times you get up. It only matters how many times you took the 8 count to rethink your strategy
460. Procrastination is quitting even before committing.
461. Everyone appreciates honesty until they hear the words, “running on fumes”.
462. When one angle of attack doesn’t work out, you still have 359 more angles to choose from.
463. When you have nothing, it’s easier to risk it.
464. People just want to know “what”. “How” is boring and “why” is too intellectual.
465. The lower your expectations, the more tolerant and happier you’ll be.

Work related
468. The micromanager will assign an advisor to ensure you no longer think outside the advice. However, following his bad advice is still your fault.
469. Micromanagement requires constant correction, strict record keeping and surprise reviews on things never previously mentioned.
470. “There’s no problem PowerPoint can’t solve.” –micromanager’s handbook
471. A no-win situation is having two bosses. Anything done to please one will automatically displease the other.
472. Only once all brain function has stopped can you be pronounced middle management.
473. I can suffer fools but I can’t suffer pride. Not really, I can’t suffer fools either. Why do I always get a brown nosing idiot as a boss?
474. My total lack of respect for authority gets me constantly into trouble. Very few bosses have enjoyed working for me.
475. Why is there no business school specializing in micromanagement excellence? So many of my bosses sucked at it.
476. Another day of royal screw ups. I must be a highly valued employee to hold onto my job regardless.
477. Companies stress excellent verbal and written skills, yet I often get a boss who seems to have learned his English managing a hot dog stand
478. My boss believes there are no bad managers, only insufficient time to micromanage bad employees.
479. Why does upper management always hire a 2nd boss to micromanage me. Wouldn’t it be cheaper just to fire me?
480. A confident, well-running office will always get the outside consultant “to make it that much better.”
481. The amazing thing about the micromanager is that nobody admits to being one.
483. Usually you’re told you’re not management material just before they tell you you’re not employee material either.
484. The only time bosses need to hear about your problems is when they need an excuse not to give you a raise.
485. The micromanager will take a keen interest in learning how he can help facilitate your job but only when he needs to cut staff.
486. The micromanager would never tweet about the zany foibles of his employees. That would require a sense of humor.
487. Micromanagers immediately pounce on problems. Not the problems themselves but on the problem that you’re reporting problems.
489. The micromanager demands proactive problem solving from his employees so he can keep his own head in the sand.
490. The micromanager is a top down problem solver. Only problems coming down from the top matter, yours don’t.
491. The micromanager always finds that one shining example amongst his employees. Strangely enough it’s always the one who brings him coffee.
492. The micromanager understands the brown daisy-chain of command.
493. The micromanager, like the dictator, loathes taking power and claims the necessity is only temporary until the employee can be fired.
494. The micromanager’s an expert at setting up mine fields and dissipating tactical information to “sabotest” his employees.
495. Instilling employee insecurity is paramount to ensuring the micromanager’s own job security.
496. A skilled micromanager knows conflicting directives is the key to maximizing employee control through stress.
497. Keeping stats is another important tool in the micromanager’s arsenal; particularly meaningless ones.
498. A micromanager understands maintaining his physical conditioning will undermine his authority.
499. There are no centers for micromanagement excellence, it’s more like a collection of bad habits from years of on the job training.
500. A micromanager believes employee training is a great way to unlearn everything on the job.
501. A micromanager believes customer satisfaction is paramount unless it interferes with his quarterly bonus.
502. “Empowerment” is the tool micromanagers use to blame employees for following orders.
503. Perturbing “Paradigm shifts” propel micromanagers to periodically pull the carpet out from under their employees.
504. Hot breath on the back of an employee’s neck is the micromanager’s modern day replacement for the lash. That and halitosis.
505. The micromanager can magically make your work disappear and reappear under his own name. Make sure to copy your original.
506. Never good on a resume: “I bring out the micromanager in people.”

Not my best stuff:
509. Sometimes you gotta open the gate to have the wind slam it shut.
510. What’s the sound of one hand clapping? Kinda like a fish flapping about.
511. The answer to every question is somehow related to the nature of time and space. If only someone understood the nature of time and space.
512. What’s worse, asking for what’s owed or having to ask for what’s owed.
513. You’re really proud of your kids when they make you proud of yourself.
514. Knowledge is measurable, repeatable, predictive. Belief handles the rest.
515. Learning’s a small consolation prize for failure.
516. It takes a big man to admit he’s wrong, an even bigger man to never be wrong.
517. Most see exactly what they’re told to see.
518. A ball held in the outfield won’t stop anyone from stealing bases.
519. A real vacation is one where you invite your soul to come along.
520. Credentials can crush any reasonable discussion.
521. A strong opinion elicits strong response.
523. The universe favors an exponential failure rate over an asymptotic success rate
524. The purpose of communication is mutual understanding, not a one-sided ego trip.
525. Just because something doesn’t work once doesn’t mean it won’t work the next time
526. It’s sad when the right to an opinion is more important than truth.
527. The lotus and the onion expose their many layers serving the eye in contrast.
528. Everyone has the right to an opinion but the more informed an opinion is, the higher its value.
529. The legal profession: People engaged in defining the obvious thru obfuscation.
530. Intention is harder fought than denied.
531. My brain only kicks into high gear when things look hopeless. The key to success is to give up sooner, then things click into place.
532. The path to success is lined with B.S.
533. Although all that positive thinking stuff is B.S., confidence is crucial to success.
534. Prayer, meditation, visualization, positive thinking are foolproof. They can’t fail. If they do, it’s because of your lack of faith.
536. I put a lot of garbage in. I guess that explains the garbage out.
537. Those who believe most in sharing are usually the most unwilling to share.
538. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger? Really? I think it would make you wiser; as in wow that was dumb.
539. Everyone’s blind to the suckage of their own product
540. Doan like Jezoids because no matter what they do, Jesus will forgive them. It sucks for the rest of us who aren’t so forgiving
541. Corruption starts so innocently with loyalty, reciprocity and special treatment for friends, family and benefactors. Keep it transparent
542. Superposition, exclusion, simultaneity and entanglement are the 4 pillars of everything we don’t understand about time and space.
543. Rethink-EV-Rethink
544. Reality is a thin veneer sandwiched between the physical below and metaphysical above.
545. Apparently association and conditioning, not connection, beats addiction.
546. Success is the transition from positive thinking to realistic thinking.
547. The universe is not within you. What’s within you is in an endless feedback loop with what’s with out you.
550. grab life by the rind and squeeze out all the truth you can.
553. Quilters never quit and quitters never quilt.
566. Keep your ideas, away from prying eyes, locked in a cupboard, where they will do no harm, or good.
567. The Dalai is not my ally. He and I don’t see eye to eye, nonetheless, he’s still a good guy.
568. Imagine the torment religious values would unleash if we gene spliced an artificial slave race of “mankeys”.
569. The spoken word and the written word each have their own rythm and tembre.
570. Truth and lies don’t take sides for good or evil.
572. When opportunity knocks, it won’t be dressed as a salesperson.
573. Before I turn on my TV, I pray the remote will work and it does. Prayer works people!
575. Slogans and credentials, like megaphones, can shout down any reasonable dialog.
576. The universe is the medium, the message is motion.
577. Truth lies in understanding the relationships between in and out; choice, chance and destiny; and space, time, matter and energy.
579. Reality, and the rules governing it, is simply a matter of scale.

Dos Equis The world’s most interesting man
1. He once crossed the Serengeti with a woman on his back just because of the way she whispered in his ear.
2. He’s been spotted at every major historic event, even those before his birth.
3. He has loved and lost but never considers any of it a loss.
4. He understands the meaning of life and the mysteries of the universe but can’t share. He knows we’re just not ready.
5. He’s been abducted by aliens and returned with sincere apologies.
6. He never found an itch worth scratching, even in a field of poison ivy.
7. If asked to discuss the end of the world or the origin of life, it’s as if he’s been there.
8. He’s never lost a sock in the dryer. In fact, he always finds an extra one.
9. In highschool, he’d often be pulled out of class by teachers from other classes.
10. He remembers past lives and his travels often involve taking care of unfinished business.
11. He can absorb an entire language just through breast feeding.
12. His other drink is water but it’s milked from his private glacier.
13. His name’s pre-printed on every guest list, just in case he shows.
14. He can change the subject, just by entering a room.
15. His hair grays, but from the tips back.
16. His insights have been known to spontaneously develop X-ray film.
17. Even dogs are fascinated by his sense of smell.
18. The bulk of his humor is often appreciated hours later.
19. His cars are never brought in for servicing, only for instruction.
20. His clothes look out of date only because they’re ahead of their time.
21. When he flies, flight crews are so captivated they often neglect to serve the in-flight meals.
22. Adventure follows him, even on trips to the dry cleaners.
23. He can calm a racing heart just by the timbre of his voice.
24. He makes lederhosen look good.
25. Nothing’s faster than his fists, except maybe his quips which can be just as devastating.
26. He’s a bad ass, but his ass ain’t half bad.
27. He never follows his dreams, they can’t keep up.
28. On apologizing: “It takes a big man to admit he’s wrong, an even bigger man to never be wrong.”
29. He never takes anything personally. Nonetheless, choose your words wisely, my friends.
30. He can shrug, without moving a muscle.
31. He avoids convents . . . 2 many X’s, hence the name of his beer.
32. He still fills in occasionally on Fantasy Island.
33. He needs no introduction so don’t even try.
34. He once went camping with Fabio, some mountain in Wyoming. He never speaks of it.
35. He never says, “I could tell you but then I’d have to kill you.” You just know.
36. He doesn’t listen to TV warnings; he tries everything at home.
37. He’s a man of success, with a pinch of excess thrown in for good measure.
38. What do you get a man who has everything . . . just ask him.
39. He’s never shaken . . . only stirred.
40. He’s a man of action, and a man of leisure; often simultaneously.
41. He’s been called a philanderer and a philanthropist, either way, he doesn’t distinguish between the two.
42. He keeps his friends close, and his enemies’ girlfriends closer.
43. Boxers or briefs? neither, he still makes speedos look good.
44. He’s never shed a tear. Except maybe that one time in the middle of a sandstorm. He got something in his eye.
45. His hair is tussled . . . carefully.
46. He was born in the Bronx . . . the French Quarter.
47. He’d never bring up the heat . . . or the humidity.
48. Small talk’s not his forte. Small talk never even uses the word forte.
49. His eyes are piercing, his personality’s piercing, it’s been said, even his tongue is piercing.
50. His airmiles card has its own airmiles card.
51. GPS? no, a licked finger to the wind is more than sufficient.
52. He was once at a loss for words; turns out it was the fault of the language.
53. His thoughts are so deep, those around him often inexplicably contract the bends.
54. His hand gestures are so expressive, orchestras often spontaneously follow his lead.
55. He could solve any world problem but prefers to keep it interesting.
56. His dreams are so powerful, they involve others against their will.
57. He doesn’t have A way with words, he has HIS way with words.
58. When in Rome, they do as he does.
59. On a stroll through the Masai mara, he was joined by a pride of lions, who were temporarily confused by his mane.
60. Even his cigar has it’s own following.
61. His hair’s playful but not even the wind tries to mess with it.
62. Celebrities ask HIM to raise their adopted children.